Forget ‘dressing your age’, this is what really matters
Have I become invisible? Am I too old to wear this? Should I be dressing differently now? As a personal stylist in London, I hear these questions all the time. There comes a point in midlife when many women start questioning their style.
I’m not surprised women are confused as there is so much conflicting information out there. Let’s not forget that us midlife women are big business which sadly means we are sold a lot of bulls&$t to make us buy more products, rather than feel better about ourselves.
I’m now in my 50s and, after 30 years working in fashion (18 of those as a fashion buyer before becoming a stylist), I’ve realised feeling good in how you dress is about wearing clothes that reflect who you are, and not about following rigid rules. If it were that easy I would be out of a job!
Thankfully the tide is turning and we are now seeing more women over 40 in the media celebrating midlife rather than apologising for it. I love seeing women who embrace getting older with confidence, humour and great style, and show us how to age gracefully by demonstrating it’s ok (and natural) to have wrinkles.
My 10 rules for looking amazing (and feeling great) in midlife
If you’re navigating this stage of life and wondering how to feel more like yourself again, here are 10 things I’ve learnt:-
1.There is no such thing as ‘dressing your age
Your personal style doesn’t have an expiry date, instead it evolves and adapts over time. Wear clothes that make you feel confident, comfortable and authentic. Don’t shy away from certain styles you consider ‘too young’, focus on discovering the cuts, colours and proportions that flatter your body and suit your lifestyle. Your outfits need to be appropriate for your day ahead, not your birth certificate. For more tips on how to style your shape you can sign up here for my free guide.
2. Style wobbles are normal
And yes, personal stylists have them too. Planning outfits in advance and having a wardrobe full of pieces that work together removes so much daily stress. I often take time at weekends to try on styles for the week ahead.
3. Elevating your style elevates your mood
The clothes you wear influence how you feel, how you carry yourself and even how others perceive you. This isn’t just my opinion, it’s backed up by scientific research. When you wear something that fits well and makes you smile when you catch your reflection, you naturally stand taller and feel more confident.
4.Wearing colour is one of the easiest mood boosters
When life gets busy or we’re feeling rubbish, it’s tempting to hide behind black, navy or grey. Sometimes that’s exactly what we’re subconsciously doing, trying not to be noticed. When you wear a shade you love it will brighten your complexion, lift your mood and inject personality into your wardrobe.
5. Accept that your waistband will expand and dress the figure you have today
Midlife brings changes. Menopause, hormone levels and simply getting older will all affect where we carry weight. It is better to accept the body you have now and invest in clothes that fit you.
One recent client was convinced she could only wear skinny jeans because they stretched around her waist. During our shopping session she discovered modern straight-leg jeans with a hidden elastic waistband, and couldn’t believe how flattering and comfortable they were. There is nearly always a solution. You don’t have to hide behind oversized clothing.
6. Beware of polyester
If you’re experiencing hot flushes or simply feel warmer than you used to, fabric choice makes a huge difference. Natural fibres such as cotton, linen, bamboo and merino wool allow your skin to breathe far better than polyester. That doesn’t mean you need to avoid every synthetic fabric, but instead try to choose breathable materials for tops and layers. You should feel noticeably more comfortable if you do this.
7. Know that not every trend is meant for you
Trends are clothing brands’ way of enticing you to buy something new. If the trend works for your figure, lifestyle and taste then by all means go for it but don’t be a slave to them. Despite them being a hot new trend this season I won’t be partaking in a pair of capri pants. They do not suit my chunky calves so I shall appreciate them from afar!
8. Wanting to look your best isn’t vain
Don’t feel guilty about caring how you dress. Looking good isn’t about chasing perfection or impressing others, instead it’s about presenting the best version of yourself to the world – and how that makes YOU feel.
When you feel confident in your appearance, it often has a positive impact on your confidence at work, socially and in everyday life. Also, don’t get caught up in comparing how you look with what you see on social media. It’s not reality, and for every photo someone posts, there are often dozens they chose not to.
9. Follow women who inspire you
One of the best ways to refresh your style is to follow women whose look you love. I’m not saying you need to copy them, but instead feel inspired. Maybe they encourage you to wear a bold colour instead of another safe black jumper. Or perhaps they make you rethink your tailoring or accessories. Always unfollow anyone who makes you feel rubbish.
10. ‘Specialist’ menopause creams are a pile of c**p!
The global menopause market is said to be worth over $600 billion .But unfortunately, not every product advertised to you deserves your money. And the same goes to style advice.
I learnt this after buying expensive “menopause skincare” before realising menopause isn’t actually a skin type. Whether it’s beauty products or fashion advice, don’t assume something is right just because it’s marketed at women over 50. Instead, do your research, ask questions and invest in what genuinely works for you.
10 style rules you must break in midlife
If you’ve ever been told any of these, it’s time to ignore them.
- You must dress your age.
- You should stick to safe neutrals to look polished
- Sequins are only for younger women.
- You can’t wear sleeveless tops and shorts
- Women over 50 shouldn’t wear the latest trends.
- Your wardrobe should become more “sensible”.
- Black is the most flattering colour.
- You should have only have 33 (or other nonsense figure) garments in your wardrobe
- It’s frivolous to care about your style.
- Midlife means fading into the background.
None of these rules are true.
The women who look the most stylish aren’t the ones slavishly following outdated fashion advice. They’re wearing clothes they love that make them feel like themselves.
Ready to fall back in love with your wardrobe?
If you’ve reached the point where your wardrobe no longer reflects who you are, I’d love to help.
Whether you’re navigating menopause, changing careers, returning to the office or simply want to feel more confident getting dressed each morning, my styling services are designed to make getting dressed easy, enjoyable and completely stress-free.
Together we’ll create a wardrobe that works for your lifestyle, flatters your shape and gives you confidence every time you open your wardrobe doors.
Drop me a line to find out more or read what my clients have to say about their experience here.
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